THE BEAST (Visual Novel)

Omg I ignored this game for a while because it looked well lowtech basically.....omg I was an absolute idiot...this game is a master piece! Its dark and violent and yet sweet and just makes me love eric and blu and ryu so much.......its sooo deep I can't get enough I can't get this out of my mind.....

I really like this game, despite not liking its art at first (though I quickly warmed up to it). I really like the story and I found myself engrossed in it. And I really like your choice of music. At times I just had to stop and listen to the music (and sometimes even jam out to it).

The end (the feelings coupled with the music) had me crying.

Also I really like the dynamic between Ryu and Blu. And also I totally ship Jacob and Louis.

Do you know if you will make a android version of this?

WOW i just read though it all in 2 days now and i really liked it! I know it said it contained gore but i got pretty surprised at first when the gore happend but its cool as it is :D

The art is really something else too, i dont know any other visual novel with HAND drawn art, its something you have to get used to but i learned to love it now! I also really liked the character development and plots and im looking forward for the next update! ^^

I do have one suggestion to improve the feeling a little... when you die in a battle, would it be possible to get set back to like the beginning of the fight and not the main menu? I mean its not the end of the world you can (and probably should) just save before every major enemy encounter buuuuut it really set me back because at first i was playing this game a long time at once and didn't feel like i needed to save cause i wasn't going to quit any time soon but then i died and had to skip though all of it and do like 3 or 4 fight again ^^"

Its really just for comfort but what can i say, otherwise it was great! Keep it up ^^ 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One question remains for me though ^^"

Are there any nsfw events planned? (Just curious because the bonding between eric and blu is getting real tight ^^") I wouldn't mind but i can understand if you wann keep it "sfw" ish... i mean... the other kind of nsfw with the gore stuff ^^

Well, that's it for me, cya till the next update~

I have a question: Does this VN have romanceable/dateable characters? (Male characters I mean) Is it possible to romance/date the white tiger?

i hope you continu this plese cuntinu

I'm speachless... in a good way of course.  All there is to say is that I love it and want more lol

Keep up the good work, stay safe <3

okay so i have some thoughts after making may way to the first 4 chapters of the game, the parts where i am at was the revealing truth of the Chief Daniella how she was the major cause of her betrayal and dishonesty and destruction of her society, and OMG it was really good! and i want to share some thoughts on how you can improve your game and I REALLY LOVE THIS Visual Novel and i normally do not view horror content genres but your works has a place in my collection of  Visual Novels.

i love the flow of the pacing where i can just space bar my way through the story and the story's pacing of exposition and character development was put really well, and i hope to learn about Jake and how he was part if the team of Jacob, louis and Zara and the boss.

but my a few issues is the art pieces, i was hoping are you going to transform into digital art at some point but i like how they are drafts and i hope to see more improved content, also animations of attacks and monsters and the design choices for the story locations as well for their background designs, but they do serve their purposes well.

 also i really enjoyed the world building and lore and the fourth wall breaking from the first scenes of the game, and i like the anime aesthetic, 
and i like how you have a PERSONA with Furry dogs as a FURSONA its funny and i like the references of transforming like from a game of Bloody Fury from GameCube games, characters from humans transform into their BEAST forms to fight against their opponents.

so far you have my vote as 5/10, you have a strong story, strong story development and it also goes with your character development, i like the immersion of the battles scenes, and I ACTUALLY cared about your characters and may god i felt really bad for Jacob after the Thunderbird battle boss rounds, and i felt bad about Daniella and i really hope she gets a redemption arc for her story cause she really needs her resolution after what she has done, and also keep your story pacing and do not rush it it is balanced enough and i like it a lot!!!

this part is where i found a few problems and suggestions to improve your visual novel: 

PART !:  of the organization side of your game project folders for example, in your 'images' folder, you have all your art assets all over the place, it would help your game be more organized in where your images are located in their own respective folders.
Make more folders in your 'images' folder based on characters' names, 'backgrounds', 'illustrations', 'locations', 'special effects', or 'attack animations screens', and 'monsters' and that way if you improve this part of your images folder, it will look more professional and more organized.

PART 2:
Okay the art issues is that they deserve a revised versions in digital art, keep your art consistent which is there from the drawings i have seen in the game, and keep your game fonts as well, 
The music is good keep it i like the ambience and it works well and fits in well in the game.
The sound Effects/ FX are bit troubling, i notice the main menu, and UI Screens have 2 mouse click interaction sounds that are referenced from 'Kingdom Hearts' games and i recommend that your replace them, though the sounds fit in the game, it is part of a copyrighted issues that you may experience unless you have licenses for those sounds then you are good, but i think a better replacement is in need for that and its okay if you need sounds for clicking interactions.

part 3 technical issues, can you add a 'back' option to rewind the story at any time, i think this helps in case users failed to see the texts after using the left click or space bar too many times to progress the next text dialogues that the user may have missed a text.

all issues are from Build THE BEAST 1.58 build!!

Hi, recently  installed the last update (1,55), i deleted the older version and uncompressed the new one, and when i tried to open i got a text doc saying: 

I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.
After loading the script.
UnicodeDecodeError: 'utf8' codec can't decode byte 0xf3 in position 10: invalid continuation byte
-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------
Full traceback:
  File "renpy/bootstrap.py", line 326, in bootstrap
    renpy.main.main()
  File "renpy/main.py", line 452, in main
    game.persistent = renpy.persistent.init()
  File "renpy/persistent.py", line 223, in init
    filename = os.path.join(renpy.config.savedir, "persistent.new")
  File "/home/tom/ab/nightly-build/tmp/install.linux-x86_64/lib/python2.7/ntpath.py", line 85, in join
UnicodeDecodeError: 'utf8' codec can't decode byte 0xf3 in position 10: invalid continuation byte

I restored the version 1,44 and it's working but with the new one i can't open the game uwu.
There are one solution for that?

Noticed quite a few grammar issues in Prologue and Ch 1 so far I wanted to alert you to, mainly involving keeping your verb tenses consistent. For the sake of this, I'm assuming you want the protagonist to tell the story in present tense.

• You accidentally spoil Blu's name once while you have it "???" for the rest of the intro.
•  "I'm trying to fish for my cap"
  • "try"
• "I stretches my hands under my bed"
  • stretch

• "I heard you screamed
• scream
• "But seriously, what kind of sickness i have, actually"

  
  

  • I might replace this with "I don't know what kind of sickness I actually have."
• "She often gave me those weird medicines"
  • these
• "It taste...awful..."
• tastes




• "same weird dream whenever I took the medicines"
  • take
• "On the dining table , is a plate of pancakes"

  
  

  • Remove the comma
• "Staying inside the house, couldn't even leave"
  • can't
• I take one medicine out of the medicine case, and was about to drink it
  • If you're trying to stay in present tense, I would replace it with "go to drink it"
•  "I hopped onto my bed and immediately falls asleep" 
  • hop  ;  fall 
• "I'm... so painful"

  
  

  • I would say either "I'm... in so much pain" or "It's so... painful"
• "He drink those medicines too?"
  •  drinks

First Blood:

•  "Hello, there. What can I help you?
  • Remove the comma; How can I
• "the customer ran to check his wife"

  
  

  • runs ; check on
• "As curious, the clerk walks out from her restaurant to see what happen..."
  • The beginning of the sentence needs a little work. You could say "Becoming curious, the clerk..."
  • what's happening or happened could both be appropriate here
• "She was flabbergasted"
  • Assuming you want this section to be in present tense, is

• "In front of her is a giant purple..."
  • Remove the two commas in this sentence
• "It was devouring"
  • It devours
• "The creature soon stared at the clerk"

  
  

  • turns to stare fits better here
• "The creature slowly approach to the clerk"

  
  

  • approaches, get rid of "to"
• "The clerk attempts to run but tripped"
  • trips
• "The creature opens its huge mouth and was about to swallow"

  
  

  • goes to swallow
• "a bullet struck the creature"

  
  

  • strikes
• "Convince the hunt"
  • Commence the hunt!
• Louis and Jacob pursued the creature and cornered it...

  
  

  • pursue the creature, cornering it
• "So we wouldn't let you get away!"

  
  

  • won't"

In the battle tutorial

• "Once their HP dropped to 0"
  • "is reduced"
• "The HP of certain characters will gets higher"

  
  

  • "get"
• "which either deal damage, healing, or increase the Energy"
  • to keep tense consistent, use "heal" or "heal a party member"
• "Damage of certain characters will gets"

  
  

  • "get"

Post-battle

• "Still love his Zinger Crunch and short as usual"
  • I would flip the "short as usual" to the front of the sentence; loves 
• David hangs up the call
  • "hung"
• "he will immediately shows up and help them"

  
  

  • show
• Just as a sidenote, you may want to consider eliminating the honorifics (e.g. niichan) from your dialogue. At least to me, they pull me out of the narrative and taint the tone a bit.
• "The reason how they turn into The Corrupted"
  • "why"

Eric and Fiona

• "It just like trapping inside a bird cage"
  • "It's" ; "being trapped"
• "But mom wouldn't  let me"

  
  

  • won't 
• "Fiona slowly walk back"

  
  

  • "walks"
• "Eric, how many time I've told you..."

  
  

  • "have I"
• "Have you take one in the morning"

  
  

  • "Did you take one this morning?"
• "You still haven't sleep?"
  • Would either say "You're still not asleep?" or "You still haven't fallen asleep" or "You still aren't asleep?"

-------I'm cutting off my edits here as I have stuff to do today----

You may want to invest in time editing  and also find an editor for the rest of the script. Let me know if you would like more help with editing, we can talk on discord or something.

i just installed the update and a few minnies into ch 1 my game closes it self

This is a really promising game and you've put an incredible amount of work here! I've really enjoyed the game so far. 

Something that i think your project may benefit from here is asset compression. At 857+ MB it's quite a large install, especially for an Android build.

I'm assuming you've scanned the artwork or taken photos. Directly importing those assets into the game engine will give you a very large install size. 

If you've got Adobe CC (Lightroom, Photoshop, Bridge or Camera RAW) all support batch image compression that will let you keep the same quality but reduce file size. There are a number of free online tools that can help with this.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this project goes, keep up the good work! 

Good luck with your development! :3

I'm very conflicted personally when it comes to this and what I have played so far.

I REALLY like the ideas for the game, the art is cute too though some of the them look...well, off. Like how one character is literally just straight up a character from The Haunting Ground in a major role. Like hoh. I worry about copyright there hah.

There's also some weird sounding dialogue here and there, some lines sounding very stilted and non natural. 

My BIGGEST issue with the game though is it's pacing. It's...PRETTY bad. The game has a lot of interesting ideas but it's just a train speeding off the tracks at this point. Everything happens so fast, nothing has time to settle in or process, characters don't make any good connections.

Everything is just going way too fast. It kinda feels like a rough draft with just the main plot points discussed and nothing that goes in between. I would really like it if we could of just made everything slow down a LOT. Another issue is you just explain things when we could of shown them. 

It's hard to really describe what I'm saying or thinking. I like the ideas a lot but it's somehow going so fast everything feels stale, the characters are kinda non existent thanks to the fast pace...

I would actually like to discuss this sort of stuff with you on an easier platform and try my best to help and offer advice in anyway I can. Do you perhaps have a Telegram, Discord or even a Twitter? (Though one of the first two is more preferable) 

not to be offensive, But I really like how the mc slightly looks like the mc from lagoon lounge haha XD, I'll be giving this game a shot after I've cleared some space on my phone cuz my best friend recommended it to me ^^

It looks awesome! This game will have a Android version?

Great game,I really love the character and the drawing(especially the moment Blu and Ryu together~)

This it's one of the most funny and interactive visual novel that I  playing in my entire life, congrats for make this possible, and I will wait for the next update.

very good game but the characters wont die and now i can't win the fight with viola

It contains sexual content?